Thursday, November 11, 2010

Reefer Madness - Where Do I Buy Marijuana?

Now that I intend to try smoking marijuana, I need to figure out how to get some.

I have read statements by marijuana legalization proponents that say kids can easily get marijuana. Their statements seem confirmed by the 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health report, published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, which notes that 7.3% of kids aged 12-17 are current marijuana users. That means 1-in-14 high school kids currently smoke pot. So they’re getting it somewhere. But where? According to the August 2010 report, National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XV: Teens and Parents, , published by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), "Three in four teens (76-percent) who can get marijuana obtain it from a friend or classmate." I guess that means the remaining 24-percent get it from a drug dealer. (That really is just a guess on my part.)

The fact that 76-percent of teens say they can get marijuana from a friend or classmate doesn’t really surprise me.  I know when I was in high school, it was generally understood that if you wanted to buy pot, you just had to walk into one of the boy's bathrooms. But I have no intention of wandering into boy’s bathrooms asking teenagers if they can "hook me up." While I may want to try marijuana, I’m an adult and I have no desire to contribute to the delinquency of a minor, nor to encourage them to use licit or illicit substances. Children shouldn’t be engaged in drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or using marijuana recreationally. (Sorry kids... it’s just the way I feel.) 

But where do I get it?

I suppose I could drive around town, searching for unsavory characters loitering street corners in crime-ridden neighborhoods... but that sounds a little scary. Or maybe I could hangout at bars or clubs late at night and ask patrons where I might score. But since I'm not into the nightclub scene and don't hang out at bars (preferring instead to spend my evenings with my wife watching the latest episode of Survivor, or Hell's Kitchen, or The Biggest Loser, or Dancing with the Stars, or Oprah, or Dr. Oz., or... well, you get the idea), then I need to find an alternative.

So I did what anyone over the age of three would do in our internet-connected world: I Googled "where to buy pot."  In 0.17 seconds, I had about 59,200,000 results. A quick review of the search results reveals a variety of websites promising to sell marijuana online via mail order. Really? Mail-order pot? Can it be that easy?

Apparantly not.

I checked out a couple of the websites and quickly learned that they offer a type of marijuana hybrid where they cross-breed a marijuana plant, for example, with a blueberry plant producing a "...hybrid plant containing just as much THC as full-strength marijuana, yet with a mild blueberry aroma."

Ummm... no thanks.

I'm uncomfortable with this option for two reasons: First, I'm interested in experiencing actual marijuana, and not in smoking a marijuana-blueberry hybrid. Second, I'm not certain it's legal to sell or possess hybrids. If I correctly understand the DEA's explanation of the Controlled Substances Act, the Act allows for the immediate inclusion of substances that are " immediate precursor of a substance already controlled." In other words, if it's a derivative of marijuana (and especially if it contains THC), then it can be immediately classified as a Schedule I drug, the same classification as marijuana and THC.

So, if I don't want to cruise dangerous neighborhoods, or hang out at bars and clubs late at night, or openly buy hybrid products that the DEA may still classify as Schedule I drugs, then what options am I left with? Hmmm... well, I am a resident of California.

Ah, yes... medical marijuana.

I wonder if my doctor will give me a prescription? I'll have to give her a call.

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